Before we can truly understand another person, we must walk a mile in their moccasins. Before we can walk in another person’s moccasins, we must first take off our own.-Native American saying
https://adamournian.com/2012/07/before-we-can-truly-understand-another-person-we/
Australian Youth: Mental Health and Well Being: 10 Contagious Habits Of Happy People
Australian Youth: Mental Health and Well Being: 10 Contagious Habits Of Happy People
youthmentalhealthandwellbeing:
What makes us miserable or happy? You would be surprised how simple the answer is… It’s our habits. Circumstances may vary but our habits have a power to dictate whether we will be miserable or happy.
People who are bursting with energy of confidence, who go further in their life journey are…
un-compartmentalised lives
I think an overlooked benefit of Facebook and other social media, is that it makes harder for people to compartmentalise their lives. By showing the same side of ourselves to friends, colleagues and relatives we are able to be more genuine and authentic (congruent in counsellor-speak).
Many people I know find it hard to mix and the idea of having a gathering of people from different walks of life is an impossible one. Perhaps the younger generation will find this easier.
Of course, keeping safe and appropriate boundaries is important, and like so many things we learn by experience; another way of saying we get it wrong first time round.
paranoia on the tube
a fascinating study showing that a significant proportion of ordinary people ie not just those with mental illness, can misinterpret social situations
“The friends of the born nurse are always getting worse.”
- by WH Auden in As I Walked out one Evening.
I wondered about this short poem for some time thinking that Auden must have meant something deeper than just a rhyming couplet. During my counselling training the worst thing to be compared to was a nurse, or a rescuer; many times we were reminded not to rush in but to wait until the client found their own way out of their troubling issues. I often remind myself of that if I am tempted to take a perceived short cut and tell a client what is happening before they are ready to see for themselves.
The more we do for someone, or look after them the less able they are to stand on their own two feet. I see this all the time, from over-fussy mothers and helpers in schools, to people’s over-reliance on their GPs and numerous remedies that are completely unnecessary and often ineffective. A little patience and some time will often either cure or present a completely different picture and better way forward. Obviously this doesn’t apply if someone is literally bleeding to death!
I think this unintended consequence is what has happened regarding the NHS; perhaps it should be renamed the National Disease Service? People have become disempowered and irresponsible for their own health and wellbeing. Not only do we tend to expect to be cured of everything including old-age, regardless of what we have brought on ourselves but also we mistake screening for preventative measures. If we can’t be cured it must be the government’s fault for not warning us adequately, or not taking care of us properly. Nanny State indeed.
The drug companies are laughing as they become ever-richer and would no doubt, research medication to cure such unintelligence if it wouldn’t result in the scales falling from our eyes and a loss of revenue for them.
tailor-made therapy
Irvin D Yalom
‘shocking discrimination’ in mental health services
shocking but sadly, unsurprising news today:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-18481943
“They said £400m earmarked by the government for psychological therapy was not always used for its intended purpose because there was no obligation on managers to do so.
The committee concluded that mental health services should be expanded, but if anything it was being cut.”
trauma
I have found that the longer & deeper I work with an individual client, the more frequently we discover a link between an often-overlooked event and their felt trauma. As it’s a completely subjective response there is no such thing as an overreaction, or unnatural response. When allowed to work at their own pace clients do not need invasive or distracting techniques or for their responses to be managed by me. The very fact they have survived long enough to come for therapy means they have found a way to manage their own process to date, and rescuing is counter-productive. Yes they may find healing through other practices e.g. yoga, meditation or a chat with a friend; also life-events can trigger a frightening response. It’s all part of an individual’s unique process and acceptance of that is key to the therapy.